Help each other
by V.Johnes
Summary: Set after "Out of the Light" SEQUEL TO "Death Wish", set in the same AU as "Can't stop him again", "Stay", "liar", "Well I lost my wife", "Yes sir, no sir, of course sir". Hotch thinks over what Ashley told him on the plane and when she comes to his office he offers her an interesting deal.
1. Admit you have a problem

**Criminal Minds 06x22 "Out of the Light" ~Help each other ~**

 **A/N: Hello everyone, this story is set after "Out of the Light" SEQUEL TO "Death Wish", set in the same AU as "Can't stop him again", "Stay", "liar", "Well I lost my wife", "Yes sir, no sir, of course sir". Hotch thinks over what Ashley told him on the plane and calls her up on his office offering her an interesting deal.**

 **Enjoy!**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own anything!**

 _~Help each other ~_

The plane had landed over three hours ago it was now 10pm and he was sitting in his office, Jack was at Jessica's for the night, and the last thing he wanted was to go back to an empty house. Everywhere he looked Emily's touch was there, but she wasn't, he tried to deal with it by gathering all of her stuff in boxes, but then Jack asked him why he was doing it if Emmy was coming back and he caved. The next day he had placed the three books and ten DVD cases he had managed to pack back in their place, his other method was exhausting himself to a point where he would pass out on the couch or even his study, but after the one time Jack came to his empty bedroom after a nightmare and didn't found him and started crying for daddy he didn't do this again, ever and of course his last method was probably the oldest trick in the world drink himself to sleep, but a. he would never do it with Jack in the house and b. once he did while he was having a sleepover to his aunt, he came home early because Jessica's father got sick, to a scene that he doesn't want his son to see ever again. A scene he grew up seeing every day. He wasn't going to do the same to his son. Lately he found another method, only when Jack was home; he would get his son to sleep in his bed, cuddling his small warm body at night, reminding him that he wasn't alone, that this time the story would have a different ending that it wasn't history repeating itself again… but Jack wasn't home tonight.

So once again he found himself in his office, looking over Doyle's files again. He looked up from the files and looked to the bullpen; all lights were off, all but one. Ashley's desk lamp was still on, she wasn't working on anything at all, and all she was doing was starring at the desk across from hers, Emily's now empty desk. The things she said to him on the plane had stuck with him, he really was playing his life those last weeks, and he did know he hadn't started to mourn for Emily, but he didn't want to. His wife was alive; he didn't need to mourn her. She was alive damn it! He didn't have to mourn her.

He heard a soft knock on his door and raised his head towards the sound, Ashley was standing there, she held a file on her hands and she was shifting from leg to leg uncomfortably. "Sir, I finished my report." She walked towards his desk and placed the file on his desk, she turned to leave but he reached and grabbed her hand. "Ashley, would you please take a seat, I need to talk to you for a while." He dropped her hand and she looked at him wide eyed.

"Look, sir what I said at the plane was… completely out of line and I'm not going to interfere with your personal life again." She said looking at the floor in front of her.

"Well Ashley, you weren't wrong. I truly wasn't, I'm not, dealing with Emily… being gone." She looked at him in the eyes, curiosity "You are the youngest member of the team, so I guess that you didn't have the kind of support from the rest, not… I'm not saying that they don't want to help, but their grieve is much worse, they are trying to deal with it, so that leaves you alone. Just like I am. They want to help, but I can't… I can't have them see me like that. Morgan already blames himself, Garcia can't even deal with the fact that she's gone, Dave's already in too much pain, and frankly doesn't want to talk about it anymore than I do and Reid… well he's bare comfortable talking to me at all, much less about Emily. I need to talk to someone who isn't afraid to tell me the hard truth, and you proved that you can, today on the plane. I need you to do that. You need to feel closer to her, you feel like no one wants to talk to you about her. You feel like you were robbed of having a deeper connection with her. I need to talk about my wife, not Agent Prentiss, not Emily, my wife. Em, the… the woman, I went home with. That insufferably but so amazing woman. The same woman you need to get to know."

"Where are you going with this sir?"

"I'm making an offer Ashley, tonight, you'll come with my, in mine and Emily's apartment, I'll open a bottle of her favorite wine and talk about her. I'll answer everything you need to know. What do you say?" Ashley raised her eyes and looked at him. Tears had filled her blue eyes. She answered with her voice breaking.

"If you are sure sir."

 **A/N: Hey, hope you liked it, I was watching season 6 again these days and this is one of the ideas that popped into my head, as always let me know what you are thinking, I'd love to know** **Also would you like to read more? I'm thinking of writing a chapter where Hotch and Ashley are talking about Emily at Hotch and Emily's place and he shows her their pictures and some of Emily's things that he has to remember her like her makeup, some of her clothes and shoes, bags etc. what do you think? Would you like it?**

 **Till next time, Bye!**


	2. Denial

**Chapter 2 Denial**

 **A/N: For Meowser Clancy and Smart Kira ask and you shall receive! Here is chapter 2 where Hotch and Ashley talk about the woman he wants to remember and she wants to learn.**

They were sitting in the living room silently a glass of red wine in their hand; the aroma of the drink was almost hypnotic.

"Do you miss her?" Ashley asked startling Hotch who was starring at the bookcase in front of him. "I didn't have time to miss her yet. We had back to back cases, Jack still doesn't know… missing her is a luxury, I can't afford it." His voice was distant, it made the old doubt and almost, almost hate Ashley felt rise up again. "I'm not sleeping… that's when I miss her, when I'm going to bed and she isn't there I miss her. Her feet were freezing and she had this nasty habit of running them up my legs, it drove me mental, but she always did it. Now I miss it, to feel her freezing cold feet, hear her complain because I forgot my case files on the dining table, or because of my inability to hit the hamper. Sometimes… sometimes I think I can hear her sing in the bathroom, or her heels on the floor, the corridor outside." He stopped talking his eyes wide but unfocused looking straight ahead at the pictures on the bookcase, which gave Ashley the chance to truly see him for the first time ever. His jaw was set, probably the last piece of control he had over his crumbling body. She never had seen him so beat down.

He suddenly got up and walked away, leaving the young woman alone in the living room looking stunned around the room. She didn't know what to do, how you react when you are alone in your boss' living room. She looked around the room her eyes fell on the pictures, on the bookcase and the walls, pictures of a happy life or two people who loved each other a lot. One thought, one particular caught her eye. Emily was dressed in the same shirt Hotch was now wearing, the old worn down FBI grey t-shirt while he was still dressed from work, only his tie missing, by the angle of the picture Ashley could guess that it was a selfie, they were lying on the couch smiling widely, cuddled up together, Emily had her head on his shoulder and he was smiling in her hair. She reached forward to get it, took the frame in her hands examining it.

"We took it three weeks before you joined the team." She jumped when she heard his voice from behind her. "She would always wear this shirt when at home." He played with the fabric of his shirt, the small holes on the shoulders, the stains of makeup on the neckline, "It still smells like her." He walked closer and then she noticed everything he was carrying. A couple photo albums and a thick folder were in his hands. He moved around the room gathering frames from the shelves and some from the walls and moved back seating down next to the younger woman, leaving his precious cargo on the coffee table.

"Open them" he suggested to the younger woman, Ashley reached over and took the folder in her hands, turning it over and having a few dozen of pictures slip onto the table. Moments of their lives slipped onto the glass, two smiling happy faces forever frozen in time… never falling out of love, never stop smiling. Her eyes were stuck in one particular one on top of the stack, Emily, she looked asleep, wearing a long white dress, "We had just gotten married, I came out of the bathroom and saw her sleeping I… I had to take a picture of that moment; she looked so perfect, angelic. I knew that I had to take the picture. We didn't took many pictures from that night, we were just the two of us, we only got three or four pictures the most. The dress… I still have it. It's in the bedroom… you know in reality Emily got three dresses. The newest was just delivered the day of the funeral, I couldn't return it, call it a delusion but I hoped that one day she might be back and I might see her in it." He looked at the picture still in Ashley's hands, dreaming about the first time he saw her in the dress.

"It was late at night, I got the tuxedo and waited for Emily to come out with the dress but she didn't, she came out with the dress in a bag and I didn't saw her till she was walking down the aisle. The dress fit her in all the right places. She looked amazing."

"You said three dresses. Why?" she asked looking up from the picture.

"One was the dress in the picture, the dress we got married. Then six months after our wedding we decided to redo the ceremony with all our friends and family around us. She bought the second dress but this wedding never happened… you've heard what happened to my ex-wife." He saw Ashley nod "About George Foyet?" another nod "Well, we broke up… two weeks, that's how long I could stay away from her. She was my breath of fresh air… Few months ago we decided that it was time we'd finally have a normal wedding, Emily didn't want to wear the dress she had gotten last time so she bought another… when I came back from the funeral the box with the dress was on the door…" Ashley looked at her unit chief, she was shocked, it was probably the first time she saw him like that… crying.

"Can I see them?" she asked shyly. She remembered Emily talking about her wedding dress how in love she was with the mermaid, off the shoulders dress.

"Sure." He said softly getting up from the couch, Hotch gave her his hand which she took hesitantly and followed him to the bedroom. "Sit." He said showing the bed, it was perfectly made, something that made her look at Hotch in question, she clearly remembered Emily saying that neither she nor Hotch saw sense in making the bed when they were going to mess it up again in few hours. "I haven't slept in the bed since she… she's gone." Ashley noticed how he avoided saying the words died, death or dying, as if him not saying it means that it didn't happen.

"Died"

"What?" he turned, a while dress in his arms, his eyes wide

"Since she died. You avoid saying it as if it's not acknowledging it makes it any less true. You are in denial, which means that you have barely started the mourning process yet. You're avoiding the subject, you are in the first circle 'Denial and Shock' you're avoiding the subject, blaming others"

"No."

"I'm sorry?"

"I'm not blaming others" he drops the dress on the bed and sat down next to the black clothes' bag "I blame myself. How could I do that? Leave her face him off alone. And I know the circles, Avoidance, fear, confusion, numbness and blame, are those in the first? Am I right?" his voice was hard, shocking her and making her rethink her choice of coming here, he probably wasn't even ready to face what was happening to him.

"I know you know sir, but…"

"Please Ashley, call me Aaron, I'm not your unit chief here." His head was still hanging low staring at the floor ahead of him. "I… I know where I am, and I know logically that at some point I have to move on and accept it but I can't. I want to cling on her for as long as I can." She nods to him although he can't see it with his head low. She knows the feeling, when your life crumbles to the ground most times you beg to cling to any and all pieces of normality you might have.

"Which dress is this?"

 **A/N: I decided to make it multi chaptered since I got the idea and it appealed me, Hotch goes through the five stages of grieve with Ashley after Emily's death.**

 **Please let me know what you think** **J**


	3. Anger

**Chapter 3: Anger.**

It's been a week since the last time Ashley had talked to Hotch, he pulled out all three wedding dresses and laid them on the bed carefully, the elegant satin, chiffon, tulle and lace fabrics laid softly contrasting with the dark blue comforter. His voice broken when he told her that he couldn't get the image of her walking down the aisle a vision in white, the chiffon column dress with the v neck and open back just hugging her…

Since then they had two other cases, both local, and in both thankfully Hotch stayed away from danger. A fire though still burned Ashley and the longer the time passed she could see the fire in his eyes as well and it scared her. It scared the heck out of her… she didn't know what was better the catatonic denial or the burning rage. What was worse, what was better? She knew their unit chief had an explosive anger, once too many times she heard him screaming to the gods and she knew that these times Emily was there to pick up the pieces afterwards. Right now though he had lost that person, the person he could scream and yell and cry and still be there to pick up the pieces. She wasn't capable of doing it and in the end she wasn't the right person to do it. She knew that the man was a brewing storm or a volcano ready to explode she wasn't really willing to handle that.

They closed up the last case faster than thought and all Ashley wanted to do was finish up her reports, she and Hotch had planned another meeting she wasn't that willing to do that now with the change in his mood, he blew up and nearly took off the head of three detectives, Will LaMontagne was one of them.

She finished her reports and she was thinking of actually letting them on her desk and giving them to Hotch tomorrow maybe he would be in a better mood then and she will not have him blow up in her face, but the man wouldn't budge from his office and she defiantly didn't want to face his wrath tomorrow over delayed reports.

She gathered all her things and walked up the stairs slowly, knocking on the door her boss grounded from the inside, his blinds were closed the whole time so she had no idea what she was to face on the inside, opening the door though she faced the biggest surprise of her life.

The books from the selves where thrown on the floor, frames shattered on the floor glasses around, the chairs thrown away, everything from the desk thrown down and in the middle of the devastation the man who many, herself including, blamed of not feeling anything. He was sitting on the floor, his head in his hands "Sir?" Hotch stayed frozen in his spot not moving, she knew he heard her thought his shoulders straightened, she walked cautiously to his side closing the door behind her, sheltering the room once again from the praying eyes. They lights were off only the table lamb still on but thrown down on the floor, as if a miracle not broken.

"Hotch?" she placed the hand previously holding the files on his shoulder, she didn't think he'd mind if there were two more files thrown in the mess, and sat down next to him. He kept his face hidden away from her and she knew that he was probably ashamed of losing control so badly and wrecking his office "Do you want me to leave?" she asked softly, he nodded his head negatively and slowly raised his face from his hands. His eyes were swollen, tears still falling from them, the sight shocked her worse than he imagined.

"What happened?" she asked softly.

"I guess you got what you wanted. You said I had to move on from denial, there" he showed around his room "Anger"

"How?" she was pushing her luck she knew that, right now he might be in a catatonic state after releasing his anger but the fury will build up again and she really didn't want to come face to face with an angry bear.

"It was something Will said. He said I have no idea how you are dealing without Emily. And I realized I wasn't. I haven't slept since she was gone; I…" he chuckled darkly "I still haven't picked up the dresses from the bed. And I realized it wasn't fair, Emily was… she didn't deserve to ... Why did that had to happen? We were going to have a family for god's sake!" His outburst made something click in Ashley's brain.

"Hotch… was Emily pregnant?"


	4. Bargaining

**Chapter 4: Bargaining**

 **A/N: Here is the next chapter, I couldn't really write Hotch as the bargaining type but I tired to.**

 **Enjoy!**

Another month gone and Ashley still couldn't wrap her brain around the news she learned, Hotch was still in his anger state, snapping at people right and left, circling the same feelings of frustration, anxiety, irritation, embarrassment and shame all over again as if in a crazy rollercoaster. Their last case made her doubt a lot she thought she knew about humanity. She knew that changes were coming their way, and they were going to sweep them off of their feet. She didn't go to Emily's apartment again, Hotch wasn't in the position to talk about it and she didn't want to push him to. As much as she needed to talk she knew that he couldn't and wouldn't.

 _"_ _That man is as stubborn as a mule!" Emily said, she was sitting on the pool, her feet in the water, her black hair waving from the soft breeze._

 _"_ _And you left the room?"_

 _"_ _Yeah, it's better to let him blow some steam alone and then talk." She turned and looked at the younger woman, her face shocked. "Oh it's not that bad. I have the same blowouts too, and then he leaves and gives me time to calm down on my own. It's better than screaming at each other."_

"Ashley!" she looked up from her desk to meet Penelope, she was still wearing the same pink dress she wore before they left to go grab something to eat. "Pen, is there anything I can do for you?" she asked politely.

"I can't find Hotch, he said we'll talk… I can't… I hate change and over the last year change had been forced on me and I don't like it. Have you seen him?" the words left her mouth in an impossible speed that almost made Ashley's head spin.

"I can look for him; I have to give him my reports. I can sent him find you. Is that okay?" she asked in soft voice, in truth she wanted to talk about other things not just her reports but she didn't want to upset the once happy woman any more. The atmosphere around the BAU was almost suffocating and if she was a betting woman she'd bet that it was probably the news that Hotch let slip had more than a lot to do with her feelings. How was it possible the happiest news she could have gotten turned out to be some of the worse. She was there every step of the way through all the troubles Emily had in actually getting a baby, the tests, the hormone shots, the pills, the negative tests… and when finally, finally the test was positive she was dead.

What kind of sick sense of humor was that? Penelope said her thanks and hugged her leaving the bullpen fastly. Ashley looked around the room, remembering that Hotch had left the floor but from what Garcia had said apparently he didn't go home after all. She moved up the stairs, although his office was the simplest place, apparently the closed blinds were a new normal for the man. Opening the door though she came face to face to the expected sight of an empty room… turning around she walked down the stairs sitting in her chair, where else could he be?

Her feet took her to the roof, she couldn't really explain the reason, something inside her was telling that she should just go there. She could hear the rain outside the building, the thunderstorm was in full effect right now. He had no absolute reason to be outside, but as soon as she opened the roof door she could see him sitting on the ledge, his feet were dangling in the air, the rain purring down on him soaking his suit, his hair, everything.

"Hotch!" she yelled when she was within hearing distance. He didn't seem to have heard her though "Hotch!" she yelled even louder, her voice finally breaking over the loud thunderstorm.

He turned his head slowly and looked at her, she knew at that exact moment that his anger was gone, "Emily loved the storms." He said, his voice betrayed all the feelings that overwhelmed him. "She would always drag me up here. She loved sitting here and watching the storms." He wasn't looking at her only looking straight ahead, never turning right or left. Ashley walked hesitantly and sat next to him, they sat silently there for a while looking at the storm unfolding.

"I know what you want to talk to me about. You're thinking of leaving aren't you?" he asked. His bluntness shocked her, she knew that he was the best at reading behavior that he knew things before anyone else but she never guessed that he spent the time to actually get a read on her.

"You don't think that's a good idea?" she asked him with a soft almost silent question.

"I think it's a great idea Ashley, I'd do it too if I could. But I can't, all I have of Emily is evolving around this building and our apartment I can't leave." He sounded as if he gave up on moving on, depression hitting him in full force, he could hide it so well though, so well. "You should leave, before this place sucks you up inside, if you need any help I can do that. I can talk to people I'll get you to whatever department you want. Just say the word."

"I think I'll stay for a while but when I'm sure I'll let you know and I'd appreciate it if you could put in a good word for me to Andy Swan." He smiled at her but his smile didn't reach his eyes "I can do that."

"Why was god so vindictive to me?" his question ringed in her ears as they walked down the stairs to the garage, his coat was wrapped tightly around her shoulders to keep her somewhat warm. She saw him moving through anger to bargaining to the beginning of depression in less than an hour, so fast it almost gave her a headache.

 **A/N: Let me know if you liked it or not :)**


	5. Depression

It took her a month till she finally walked into his office sure of herself telling him that she wanted to leave, she gave him her transfer papers and asked him politely to talk to Andy about her, how could he not do that? The younger woman had no reason to stand by him stubbornly as he tried and failed to deal with the fact that he lost his wife, that he failed her. It was his own fault, if he knew that something was going on then Emily would be here and he would be going to doctor's appointments together.

The lies he says are weighting down on him, the thought that he might not see his daughter or son be born is suffocating him, the mare idea that he might never meet his and Emily's child is enough to drive the gun to his head.

Everything seemed to be darker around him, he barely has strength to get up from the bed in the morning, he barely manages to live, he merely exists nowadays. Jack is his only light in the darkness but his happy carefree laugh and innocent questions can't take his mind off of things that are eating him alive from the inside. Even looking at himself in the mirror is unbearable, what kind of man lies to everyone? What kind of person uses a young woman's grieve to make himself feel better? Was he slowly turning to one of the monsters he hunted down?

So he called Andy and gave Ashley his best recommendations, applauded her insight and intelligence. Gave her the out that he couldn't find…

When the offer to lead a task force in Pakistan came through he took it without second thought, he could finally wake up without having to put up a façade, shave, put on a clean suit, brush his hair, he could let go himself and look just as crappy on the outside as he felt on the inside.

He visited _her,_ or should he say _them_ in Paris before he had to be in Pakistan, skyped with Jack, Jessica and Penelope, e-mailed with JJ and Morgan, talked on the phone with Dave and sometimes Reid but only wrote to Ashley. The young woman never replied to his letters and he didn't expect her to, it was an out thought, he would sent her a letter once a week, some of the soldiers even thought that she was his wife or girlfriend. No one asked him the truth and he didn't correct them. One former marine, now the head of the crime lad in NYC, also on temporary duty here asked him, he looked at him in shock, he didn't know how to call her, she wasn't his girlfriend, or even his friend, "She's family." He answered simply, the man thankfully just nodded sympathetically and walked away, he was never more thankful of him.

He knew she was alright, and he knew that she'll be furious when she finds out (if) that Emily is alive but he can't do anything else, he has to lie, he had to protect her (them).

There are days that he is too sad to even get up from the bed, he accepts them and welcomes them like old friends.

XXX

Ashley loved New York, the city was buzzing, she loved the bars, the restaurants, the life all around her. She worked and enjoyed life, what else could she ask for?

Every once and a while, almost every week actually, she'd get a new letter from Hotch, she kept them all, never actually picking up the courage to open them and read them, she was scared of what she might find in them.

This week's letter though never came, in its place a brown box appeared in her mailbox. She took it in her hands and examined it carefully, everything was the same as each week only this week it was a box and not a file. That intrigued her greatly and she knew she had to open it. Walking in the apartment with the box in her arms, the rest of her mail forgotten, she felt as if her heart was going to beat outside of her chest. She walked inside and locked the door behind her walking to the living room and dropping down the couch. The box fell on the coffee table sitting on the white wood mockingly.

She knew she had to open it, so she did. A velvet black box was in it along with a small note. Taking the box in her hands she slowly opened it, her eyes filled with tears at what she found inside. A white gold charm bracelet Emily loved sat there, she took the note in her hands and read the simple message and the tears just kept flowing down her cheeks.

' _Dear Ashley,_

 _If you are reading this then things with Doyle didn't go as planned, please don't blame yourself, I know that for sure you are the one with the less support. Probably trying to prove to the others that you are strong enough to do this job… am I right? You were the best student I could have asked for and I'm pretty sure you'll make a damn good agent too, in or away from the BAU._

 _Love Emily._


	6. Acceptance

**Chapter 6: Acceptance**

 **A/N: I wanna thank Meowser Clancy, oliviahotchner and the guest (sorry I don't know what else to call you) who reviewed this story, here is the end, it's placed after _'It takes a Village'_ I hope you'll like it :)**

Months passed since the last time she had been in D.C. but here she was again. Andy had gotten a call from Hotch while she was undercover that he needed to talk to her, and her boss took the liberty of setting up her vacations to D.C. without asking her. She really hated it, but she also knew that she wanted to talk. It's been months since she talked to Hotch as well, last time they did he was still in the depression stage stubbornly refusing to move on. Something was holding him back and she was so curious to find out what. Over the days she managed to move on as well, she realized that staying in the past and wondering what could have changed if she did this and didn't do that, if she was there and not on the other place, if she was faster and not slower, if she was this and not that.

It was slowly swallowing whole and she couldn't go on like that. She parked her rental in front of Hotch's apartment, it looked empty but his car was there so she got out of the car and walked the familiar path to his door. Standing in front of the oak door she swallowed trying to normal her breathing. Hotch opened the door welcoming her to a mostly empty apartment.

"Come in" he told her, she walked in hesitantly and followed him to a couple of chairs that stood in the dining room "There aren't many furniture left." He said sitting down on a chair uncomfortably,

"You're moving?" Ashley had to admit that she was shocked, he was hell bent on not changing anything in the apartment since Emily died. "Yeah, how long have you been undercover?"

"Two months, deep cover." She answered looking around the empty room.

"Seven months ago… I made a decision… one that affected everyone, you too. but I had to, if I wanted to keep my family safe I had to lie to all of you and… and I had to step on all of my believes. Emily had lost a lot of blood after her fight with Doyle but the doctors managed to stabilize her, JJ and I gathered out recourses and we got her to Bethesda under alias till she was well enough to fly, we got her out of the country and JJ managed to give her multiple other identities… no one could know where she was, or even if she was alive. I had to lie to everyone, I'm not proud of this but I had to do it, for Emily and… and my daughter, that little innocent baby who got stuck into grown up's mess. It would be a shame for her to have survived this whole ordeal only to have her die later on. I couldn't do it. I had to keep my wife and daughter alive." Ashley looked at him, his face changing slowly, from stoic to overwhelmed.

"Emily is alive?" she asked, the tears rose in her throat "Yes, Ashley I'm really sorry for lying to you."

"Can I see her?" Ashley tried to ignore Hotch's apologies, she tried to shut them out as if she could avoid them.

"Yeah sure, she's at our new home. I can drive you." He got up and offered her his hand.

"No it's fine I'll drive, I have my rental with me." He nodded and walked out of the apartment holding the door open for her to pass.

Ashley got in the car and followed his navy blue sedan away from Arlington, on the drive to Dale City, the almost thirty minute drive gave her time to think over what she learned and try and process it. She found herself unable to be angry at Hotch, in her great surprise, in the end yes, he did lie, he lied to her and deceived her, but while she spent seven months thinking that she had lost a great friend, mentor and almost mother figure he spent seven months not knowing if he'll ever meet his daughter, or if he'll ever see his wife again. Also the feelings she saw him going through right in front of her eyes were true, painfully true. He broke down in front of her very own eyes and that couldn't have been easy.

He parked his car in front of a two stories house, a small yard in front and back of the house with soft green grass and pink and red roses around the fence. It looked homey and peaceful. Getting out of the car she saw him standing on the driveway going from leg to leg uncomfortably "Hotch before we go in I need to tell you something." He stopped in his tracks and looked at her in the eyes, "I don't blame you for not telling me. Yes it was tough and yes it would have saved me a whole lot of pain if I knew the truth but I lost a friend, you lost your family and it's not fair to blame you for not wanting to risk losing them for good."

"Thank you. I'm really sorry though." He said with voice deep with emotions.

"You're welcome."

They walked in the house side by side and she waited till Hotch opened the door. On the inside of the house the first thing she noticed was the warm colors in the living room and the oak staircase on her left. Emily walked out of the kitchen and froze on her spot her smile freezing plastered on her face. She was holding a pink bundle in her arms and although she looked exhausted, Ashley can't remember when was the last time she saw her that happy.

"Ashley." The younger woman walked closer smiling "Hotch explained everything. No need to apologize or anything." Emily smiled warmly to the woman and led her back to the pig brown couch back in the living room.

"I'll go check Jack." Hotch said and disappeared upstairs. Emily sat down next to her holding the baby close in her chest.

"You wanna hold her?" she asked, shocking Ashley "Sure." Emily passed the baby carefully in her arms "She is small." Ashley remarked "Well she was born five weeks early and we just got released from hospital few days ago." Ashley nodded not looking up from the pink faced baby.

"What's her name?"

"Alexandra Ashley Hotchner."

 **A/N: Thanks again for the support on this story, this is the end! I hope you liked it, as always let me know what you think!**


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